Being single definitely has its perks: not having to consult anyone, an abundance of freedom to do things with friends, financial savings on groceries, time savings on doing laundry, and most importantly, sleeping diagonally accross your own bed.
Having said that....
Every so often (typically at least once a week, and usually after a long, stressful day), I think to myself how ridiculously good it would feel to come home to someone who already has dinner prepared and the dirty dishes cleaned. Then I laugh and think about the reality of that happening since I’ve only ever had a man (besides my dad) make me a meal once or twice in my life.
So, I come home, and I do it all. If the garbage needs to be taken out, I do it. If bills need to be paid and groceries need to be bought, that’s all me. If I see a ring in the toilet (which, lets be honest, NEVER happens because I'm a clean freak), it ain’t gonna clean itself; it’s me again. Laundry? Me. Oil changes? Moi. Want a home? Buy it yourself. Deserving of a vacation? Save up for several years and take yourself and your son. Feel like a night out on the weekend? Arrange for a sitter and go. I could go on and on but I won’t. You get the point.
There’s a fine line between being overly exhausted at the amount that I’m responsible for and being extremely proud of just how capable I am. Like, for real, I don’t think there’s anything that I couldn’t face alone. I’m so, so proud of myself. And don’t get me wrong, if I can’t fix something or change a LSD lightbulb in my home, I’ve always got my dad a few blocks away. Daddy to the rescue!
So ya, about me dating someone...
I’M DATING MYSELF!
Yep, you heard me. I’m dating myself. And like any relationship, there are pros and cons....
Pro: I’m hardworking and pay bills (ON TIME)
Con: I only have a one person income
Pro: I’m fit, work out daily and love to hike
Con: Hiking alone is boring
Pro: I'm a great listener
Con: Listening to myself talk to myself about myself becomes redundant
Pro: I can reach things in high cupboard spaces
Con: I have a tough time opening jars
So, what's it like dating me?
Me, on Dating Me:
- She’s really busy but makes time for me every single day
- She’s obsessed with cleaning, and it often interferes with having fun, but at least people can eat dinner off of our floor
- She has a ton of family and friends, so she’s not needy and loves to do her own thing
- Her son is her world, and everything she does in life has his best interest at heart
- She is brutally honest and tells it like it is so you are never left questioning
But for real...
I embrace being a powerful, strong, independent woman, I truly do, but that’s not to say I don’t sometimes wish I had a teammate who truly had my back (and like literally rubbed my back, because YES PLEASE). You know that person who fills your bucket, asks about your day (and truly cares), grabs your shoulders, looks you in the eyes and says, "we've got this, babe!"? Yeah, that person.
Until then, I won’t settle and I won’t date someone other than myself just because society pressures people into believing that’s how you’re supposed to live. I’ll keep dating myself until someone worth giving up my spare few hours a week comes along.
Me on the first date: "I don't have much spare time, so don't waste my time." Is that too blunt? Probably. Does it most likely scare people off? Yep. But it certainly weeds out people who are not willing to put in the time and effort. What they should realize is that no, I don't have a lot of time, and I won't always be at their demand when they wish, however when I do find someone worth the time and effort, I give it everything I've got and they quickly become a top priority.
Let me make something clear. I don't need to be in a relationship. I am truly happy. Do I want to be in one? Of course! I'm only human... But I'd be caught doing a sh!t ton of other things before I ever settle just because I want a person to hold my hand and laugh at my hilarious jokes.
I don't need someone to complete my life, I want someone to compliment my life. I want someone who adds to my world, not one who saves me. (I don't need saving; I've got my own savings!)
So, in honour of Valentine's Day tomorrow, this post is dedicated to all of those out there who live independently, and who choose to navigate through a complex, busy world alone, rather than shacking up with someone to ease the burden. I know life can be hard and stressful, but there is nothing that life throws at us that we cannot handle. Kudos to all of the hardworking, solo acts out there (male or female). What you do on the daily is incredible and the people around you notice everything you do. It's commendable and inspiring, and I SEE YOU!
And now, I’m off to eat chocolate in bed (because I can), and then face plant in the middle of my bed (because I can).