My new journey of coparenting has been nearly flawless. My ex and I communicate several times per day about our little guy. We always ensure we are on the same disciplinary wavelength, and exchange updates and stories about Hudson. We go out of our way to send pictures and videos, as well as 2-3 FaceTime phone calls at several points throughout the day. These simple things put our hearts and minds at ease while missing our boy to the point where our hearts feel punctured and bleeding.
This was the first holiday season with sharing my son, and I have to say that it was one of the toughest things to date that I've ever had to conquer as a parent. I had Hudson on Christmas Eve, while he was with his dad for Christmas Day. It was recently the longest stretch without my son (4 nights) that I have had to do yet, and I experienced all sorts of emotions that I didn't see coming. I was very down on life, and removed myself from nearly everyone during these 4 days. I found it hard to get out of bed, so I mostly slept and soaked in my tears while Hudson was gone.
It's awful how such sadness can affect your life. Here I was, with all of the time in the world (no work, no Hudson) to blog and write and create, however I felt like I had no voice. I had zero desire to share anything with anyone. I sat at my computer a few times to compose something, anything, and I just couldn't; nothing would come to me and my fingers felt paralyzed. T H E W O R S T!
Thankfully this was all temporary. I got Hudson back today (Thursday), and every bit of my sadness was released once I saw him and he was in my arms again. I felt an immediate sense of relief; a weight had been lifted and the dark cloud that had loomed overhead all week instantaneously drifted far, far away.
Hudson is the centre of my world, my purpose in life, and no one makes me happier. I am extatic and thankful to be back with him to conclude the holidays. I plan on making many more long-lasting memories with him over the next several days, and beginning 2017 with him in my arms.
Sharing a child is the one of the most difficult things to have to do, but it sure is beneficial for creating balance, and achieving a healthy kind of happiness that, prior to, just wasn't feasible anymore.
I cannot commend all of the single parents, coparenting and non, out there enough. What you do each and every day for your kids continually inspires me. The online coparenting community that I have recently connected with gives me strength and positivity for dealing with my own situation. I am so lucky, and I thank each of you for always sending kind words that keep me going in this experience.
Sending much love and endless thanks for your continued support heading into a fresh year. May each of you embrace all of what you deserve and more in 2017!