Co-parenting. The struggle is real. It's definitely a word that no one ever has intentions of experiencing. When you sign up to become a parent, you never envision a world where you have to share your child, your own flesh and blood, with someone else; you cannot fathom parting from your little one(s), but when this torturous concept becomes your reality, the only thing left to do is trust in others to care for your babe, and to keep your mind occupied and healthy.
A year into my co-parenting journey, there are still times it feels as if I'm missing a limb when I'm not with my Hudson. The things that can frustrate me the most when I have him quickly become things I long for and crave when he's with his dad. We always want what we can't have.
After going through all sorts of pain and breakdowns, I am sharing my most useful tips to ease the pain of missing your little one(s), because trust me, it hurts the strongest of hearts in an indescribable way. By doing these simple things each and every time I don't have my son, I find comfort and happiness, and when I come home to my quiet, empty, clean home the days that he's not with me, it's not as gut-wrenching as it once was.
1 - Belongings + Reminders: I place Hudson's special things all over the house; I keep his baby pacifier on the shelf in my bathroom, I keep his baby shoes on my night table, I sleep with his favourite bunny when he's not with me, and I keep his artwork up in several rooms of our place. When he's not with me, these special items constantly make me smile.
2 - FaceTime + Texts/Photos: Hudson's dad and I have an agreement that we FaceTime in the morning and in the evening before bed. We are also really generous with text updates and photos/videos throughout our days with Hudson. This helps me so much, because I still feel like I'm very much part of every day of his.
3 - Keep Busy & Maintain a Routine: Staying active and on-the-go is the best dose of medicine for missing anyone, especially your kids. Not only is it healthy for your mind, but you feel like you're actively striving to be a better person when your littles aren't with you so that you can be a better parent when they are with you. I always workout, run errands, and get all of the household chores done when Hudson's not in my care, that way when I do have him, I'm engaged with him and don't have to worry about the other "stuff".
4 - Make Plans: Have a social life. Balance in life is key, and keeping in touch with friends and family, going out, and having a bit of fun makes me a better parent. I make plans on at least one of the evenings that I don't have Hudson so that I have something to look forward to. Wine a bit, you'll feel better, right?!
5 - Have Another Passion: My blog is my second child. It fuels me, it makes me happy, and it brings me closer to so many like-minded people. I love the passions that seep out of me when I'm writing and sharing my life with others. I love being in touch with my creative side and working on projects where I see rewards and progress.
I hope these suggestions helped, because they have sure helped me throughout this unfamiliar process.
If you have some techniques that you have tried and practiced, I'd love to hear them! Comment below or send me an email.